In the late 70’s, fictional character William “Willy” Wonka, an eccentric confectioner with a heart (and rare ticket) of gold, created a candy that was not only affordable to everyone, but it would last forever. He claimed that “You can suck it, and suck it, and suck it, and it won’t get any smaller”. It was a breakthrough that, if proven, could eliminate the world’s hunger problem, or at the very least, their sweet tooth. Given that this could be an incredibly important innovation, I sit down with the brain trust to figure this out. Suckable snails, a perpetual motion machine powered by spit, and bacterial spores in a titanium sphere are all discussed as viable options.